Unfailing Kindness
Wayne Stewart
As a relatively recent convert in Los Angeles, I served a mission in France, Belgium, and Luxembourg. I had amazing experiences and learned to love the people and the language. It had a profound impact on me and I knew I wanted to serve a mission again.
As we matured in Denver after raising our family of five, Claradene and I were blessed with the opportunity to serve as senior couple missionaries. In 2018 we were called to serve in the France Lyon Mission. Claradene was the mission nurse and took care of the medical needs of everyone and she did quite well. We also taught a lot and had good success while meeting some very interesting people.
When we returned we wanted to serve again, and in 2021 were called to serve in the Missouri St. Louis Mission. In addition to teaching the gospel I served as membership clerk, we taught the addiction recovery class, and served as ordinance workers in the St. Louis temple.
Unfortunately, it was during this time that Claradene’s mental health issues became more pronounced. She struggled to learn names, lost processing acuity, and developed an intense separation anxiety. I did my best to care for her as our service evolved and her brain disease worsened. We would get out in the community, go to the local pool, and go to classes daily. People would pick up on the idea that something wasn’t quite right with her. As people understood the situation and could see how I took care of her, many were impacted with a new dimension of Christlike love.
After we were released from our mission a year ago we moved to the Highland, Utah area to be closer to our daughters. Claradene’s condition, however, has declined progressively, and the difficulties of daily living prompted the very tough decision to place her in the Highland Glen Assisted Living Center just a few blocks away.
I’ve really struggled to know what we could have done differently to stop or reverse Claradene’s brain anomalies. What I’ve come to grips with is that we certainly didn’t ask for this, it is a multifactorial manifestation of metabolic dysfunction, and it just happens to be her lot in life. I’ve had to accept the fact that this circumstance will be life-altering for both of us. The hard part is the continual grieving process of knowing this unspecified disease will take her life; we just don’t know when.
Through this process, however, I have felt the Lord's hand in my life just by remembering the covenants I’ve made. Claradene is my eternal companion. In this era, I love and comfort her the best way I know how. I have a better understanding of the bonds of eternal marriage and unwavering faith that all things will be made right in the resurrection. I’ve had to become more attuned to her progressive frailties, and I have just learned to be unfailingly kind. As I strive to demonstrate and emulate this Christlike attribute, I find the Lord’s comforting influence and His creative power more completely as the days pass.
As we approach Thanksgiving this year I find that I have gratitude for so much. The Lord has blessed me immeasurably. I grew up as a poor white kid in Kentucky and Tennessee, and am so thankful that I was able to focus on education to rise out of poverty. I am so thankful to have been able to join the church, to serve a mission as a young man, and to find my wife at BYU. I am thankful for the miracles of overcoming infertility, as Claradene had 4 miscarriages and 7 years before our first child. I’m blessed to know that every Sunday morning, all 5 of my kids and 21 grandchildren will be in church. Thank the Lord! That is such a huge blessing, for which I will be eternally grateful!
I know that the Lord is accomplishing His work with us in ways we can’t possibly appreciate. I know that the Lord continually orchestrates the intersection of our lives with others to achieve His work. I know that I can find joy and happiness in doing what He has asked me to do regardless of the circumstances.
-Wayne Stewart
