Perspective

The last 6 months have been full of change, loss, and grief for Rick and I. Whilst in the thick of it, there were times when it seemed like we had failed as parents, we were failing at life, and it didn’t seem like we had much of a future to look forward to. Having faith to know that I would get through it proved very challenging. I had redoubled my efforts at living righteously, attended the temple, gave service where I could, and did my best to think positively. However, blow after blow and disappointment after disappointment came. I felt like I was drowning and that it was just a matter of time before the tide literally swept me away. Somehow I had to get to higher ground so I could gain a better perspective.

Reading the scriptures always helped to invite the spirit. But reading about how Nephi wandered in the wilderness for 8 YEARS and his brothers kept trying to kill him wasn’t very reassuring. I was pretty sure 8 MONTHS of not knowing where Rick and I would land would be enough to kill me.

I had to ask myself why I believed in miracles if I didn’t believe there were miracles in store for me.

I always knew the gospel was true. I knew the Lord had a plan for us. I needed to trust Him. The spirit may not have whispered the answers to my problems, but without fail the spirit would wash over me with the message that the Lord knew me and loved me. I stayed on the path, I kept praying, reading my scriptures, serving, praying some more, and having hope.

It was when Rick and I took the opportunity to meet our daughter, her husband, and our 2 beautiful grandchildren at the St. George temple open house, that I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude. The temple was where I most wanted to be, with the people I loved the most. A candid photo captured the feeling of eternal perspective that really hit home and strengthened me to keep on keeping on. In the photo Rick and I were focused on the babies, and they were both focused on the temple. Looking at the photo It was so clear that just like in the photo, the Lord was lovingly focused on ME and was doing everything he could to bless and guide me and that his greatest wish was that I would come home.

While I know that there will always be difficulties, my testimony has been strengthened with the added perspective of hindsight. Looking back, I now see that some of the trials have turned to blessings. We have truly received “beauty for ashes”. The Lord’s love for us and His eternal plan is real. The Atonement of our loving Savior is such a comforting blessing in our lives. How grateful we are to have this knowledge and eternal perspective.

-Stephanie Johnson