Looking Up at the Temple Brings Peace

Whether it was the first time I entered the temple to have an endowment for myself, or later, I reviewed the temple ordinances on behalf of the deceased; every time I opened the door of the temple, I felt like I was going home. This feeling is similar to that of déjà vu. I regard it as the confirmation the Holy Spirit gave me that I did live with my Heavenly Father before I came to earth and that I am His child, too.

The promise God gave us in Doctrine and Covenants 110:7 has permanently imprinted on my heart. It says, “...my name shall be here; and I will manifest myself to my people in mercy in this house.” No matter what situation I encounter in my daily life, I always want to go home and talk to Heavenly Father and seek His wise advice. I want to share three stories from my temple experiences. I know He lives with power and love.

Before getting married, I was an art magazine editor and columnist. Once, I went to Paris to interview the director of the Paris Opera House for a new dance work that was about to be presented. When I looked out from the curator’s office and saw the Eiffel Tower, I couldn’t help but feel I was the luckiest person in the world. I was able to come into contact with so many beautiful people and things at work, including being able to visit Paris after work. One of my list is to join the open house of the Paris France Temple. I have always been obsessed with humanities and art. I was curious to see how Paris, known as the capital of art, would enhance the grandeur and sanctity of the delightful temple through architecture and interior decoration. However, as I was about to leave, I realized that all the cash I had with me was gone. It was the money I had set aside for travel expenses for the next three weeks. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t find it. My heart was half-cold, and I felt like someone had doused me with cold water, dampening my excitement. Fortunately, my phone is still there. After praying a lot, I decided to leave as scheduled. When I took an Uber to the outside of the Paris France Temple, my heart calmed down, and I decided that no matter what, I would not give up the privilege of entering the temple.

I visited the temple with the tour guide. I was captivated by the details of exquisite paintings and sculptures and deeply moved by the hand-crafted stained glass windows in an art nouveau style. But the worry still lingered in my heart. I sat in the celestial room and prayed. Thinking back on all the covenants I had made in the temple, I chose to have faith in God that I would find a solution to my problem in a foreign country. As I stood up to leave, I heard a voice! “They need it more than you.” I looked around suspiciously to see if anyone was talking to me. I soon understood that it was the answer that the Holy Spirit put into my heart, that someone needed that money more than me. I whispered in my mind, “Okay, I’m willing to give it all. Money will be back as long as I keep working. But Heavenly Father, what will I do if I don’t have any money?” After leaving the temple, I was walking outside the garden, thinking about my next step, when I received a call from an old friend. We last got in touch ten years ago. After learning about my experience, my friend generously invited me to the south of France to spend the next three weeks with her family. She picked me up from the TGV station and hugged me tightly. We cried and laughed. I was able to stay at her home. She introduced me to her family, cooked for me, and let me sleep on her bed. She also took me to visit the castle, mountains, coastal scenery, and the local market. That was so great. We enjoyed a very intimate and wonderful time, even better than my initial plans.

I thanked God humbly in my heart. If I had not gone through such a challenging situation first, I would not have been able to leave everything behind and make such warm memories with my friend. Jesus Christ, who can turn water into wine, can also turn the thorns in my daily life into nutrients, opening up my world to infinite possibilities. It is something I’ve never thought about before. It might be easy for some to dismiss these occurrences as mere coincidences. Still, Elder Neal A. Maxwell argued that the term “coincidence” does not adequately describe the actions of an all-knowing God. He believed that God operates not by “coincidence” but by “divine design.”

Another experience was many years ago when I was still in my very romantic early twenties. A friend who visited Utah and returned to Taiwan sent me a photo of the Salt Lake City Temple surrounded by tulips. I was shocked by such a beautiful and sacred picture. “Can I marry a man I love in such a beautiful place?” I prayed about the dream and hoped it could come true. Soon, my life was dominated by other things, and I became pragmatic and quickly forgot about this wish. Five years later, I once went to Hong Kong for a job interview. Even with a busy schedule, it’s hard to escape the ripples of my significant decision. I was in a lot of pain. Before leaving Taiwan for work, I chose to end my relationship with the person I was dating for various reasons. When I throw myself into work, sometimes I feel like I made the right decision, but other times I regret it. Troubled and broken, I came to the Hong Kong Temple to seek God’s healing during my break from work.

While changing in the locker room, I talked with a sister, and she told me that her dream was to travel to Temple Square in Salt Lake City. That conversation woke me up, and I remembered that long-lost wish. But is it still possible? I question my wish. After the temple ordinance, I sat in the celestial room again. With tears streaming down my face, I prayed, pouring out my frustrations and desires to God. I told God that finding someone I love who meets all the requirements in Taiwan is challenging and complicated. First, he must love me, and I love him, too. Also, he must be willing to marry in the temple and be qualified to do so. As the only church member in my school and neighborhood, I faced many obstacles in finding the right person while growing up. I work hard and have the desire, but I can’t see the future. While I took a deep breath to calm myself down, the image of the Salt Lake City Temple surrounded by tulips, given to me by my friend, appeared in my mind. It was vivid and beautiful.

I heard that voice again, gentle and sure! “You will. You will get married there.” I whispered in my mind, “Okay. Heavenly Father, I promise you that I will be patient.” To make a long story short, a few years later, my husband and I, both Taiwanese, married in the Salt Lake City Temple before it closed for renovations. All I can say is that it happened in an incredible way, and the rest is history. Undoubtedly, I can testify that God lives and cares about me, and He once again turned water into wine, making things possible that I thought were impossible. In the temple, just like outside the building marked “House of the Lord,” is the Holy Place where I can seek His comfort and response.

Of course, we live happily ever after, just at the end of a fairy tale. In real life, surprises and tragedies always happen together. The pandemic occurred the year when our eldest daughter, Alisha, was born. During that time, everything was overwhelming and caught off guard, which differed from what we had planned. The inner joy of becoming a mother for the first time, coupled with the external threat of the rising death toll due to COVID-19, made me feel grateful but nervous at the same time. Temples were closed at the worst time. I kept praying and stayed faithful. However, the pulmonary embolism that occurred after the vaccine triggered a series of subsequent immune system chain reactions in my body. I started having miscarriages, one after another. The stupefaction when the doctor announced that the fetus in my uterus had lost its heartbeat, the heartache of having no choice but to operate to remove the fetus, and the chaos of waiting in the recovery room for the anesthesia to wear off. It happened over and over again. I was diagnosed with a problem with my immune system and was no longer fit to be pregnant. The sudden blow challenged my belief. I felt like I was falling into a bottomless black hole. The nightmares started to reappear both during the day and at night. I felt like I was losing functionality. A strong sense of deprivation and loss filled almost my entire soul.

Even though the temple was closed, I liked to sit in the corner of the temple garden and look up at the temple spire. I believe that the children we lost will be reunited with my husband and me in the future through the covenants in the Temple. I like to imagine what they might look like. I know they are purer souls than me, so they only need to have flesh and blood bodies for a short period before they can return to heaven. Such thoughts bring me comfort and peace. I am reminded of the scene in 3 Nephi 11:11, where the resurrected Christ appears to the people right in front of the Temple. He declared: “And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.”

I suddenly felt that my bitter cup could be sanctified through obedience to God’s will for me. I prayed to revisit the temple soon and experience the fullness of the Holy Spirit. I miss the sensation of invisible hands gently tapping my chest, comforting me in distress while in the temple. I miss how I used to feel holier every time I left the temple and how my ability to feel joy was strengthened. I yearn to regain my strong faith. I have set a goal to conquer my negative emotions and rebuild my trust in God. Two years later, incredibly, I got pregnant. My youngest daughter, Chrissy, also survived remarkably. She struggled and fought her way against blood clots in my uterus and became my hope. She is our miracle baby. I thank her for rounding out my faith. I thank God with all my heart for accepting my efforts and fulfilling my desires. Like God turning wine into water, I felt fundamentally changed. Although the wound is still there, scabbed but not gone, I can still live with it in a better way.

I believe in President Gordon B. Hinckley’s teaching, “I encourage you to take greater advantage of this blessed privilege. It will refine your natures. It will peel off the selfish shell in which most of us live. It will literally bring a sanctifying element into our lives and make us better men and better women. “ I also love President Russell M. Nelson’s promise, “Time in the Temple will help you to think celestial and to catch a vision of who you really are, who you can become, and the kind of life you can have forever. Regular temple worship will enhance the way you see yourself and how you fit into God’s magnificent plan. “

I discovered last month that we are so lucky that there are six temples that we can drive to in about 30 minutes now; there will be more in the future. I love the Saratoga Springs Utah Temple the most. Still, Mount Timpanogos Utah Temple, Draper Utah Temple, Oquirrh Mountain Utah Temple, Orem Utah Temple, and Provo City Center Temple are all fantastic. I want to encourage everyone who desires a deeper relationship with God to visit the Temple regularly to receive personal enlightenment. In this sacred place, the influence of the Holy Ghost can be unrestrained if we keep ourselves pure like a temple. I share those individual stories to motivate others to regularly incorporate temple worship into their lives because it has transformed my life.

-Nina Chiu